In this article, we will discuss the psychology of trust.
What makes you "trust" someone?
Trusting, accepting, and forgiving others is important in order to have smooth relationships with people.
It is to our detriment when we are influenced by news reports and other trends that make it difficult for us to trust, accept, or forgive others.
So, what is trust? Let's take a look at the psychology of trust.
What is trust?
When you do something with someone, it can mean that you feel that they will not disappoint you, or that they will not take advantage of your weakness or cheat you.
Trust involves intuition, hope, determination, and confidence, and can be seen as an expression of an optimistic view of interpersonal relationships.
However, even though it is optimistic, trust is more individual and specific, as one person trusts and the other does not.
Fear of Betrayal
The ability to trust others is likely to be higher in people who have a good self-esteem.It is deeply connected to previous experiences, and can be said to be a pillar of having "trustworthy parents" and "not having experienced too many bad betrayals".
The opposite of trusting people is betrayal (when the other person does not deliver what you expect). People with high self-esteem are more resistant to betrayal and can trust people more.
This creates a positive cycle, as people with high self-esteem are able to trust others more, and their self-esteem becomes even higher when they are shown gratitude by those who have trusted them.
People with low self-esteem, on the other hand, lack confidence in themselves and therefore trust others.This may be based on the thought that "the other person is better than I am, so I should just let them do it and follow along.
If you trust the other person with that kind of thinking, you will be more reluctant to trust others when you realize that you have been betrayed or taken advantage of.
Also, people with high self-esteem but fragile tend to underestimate the power of others, which makes it difficult for them to trust others.
People who are too cautious
As mentioned above, as a result of low self-esteem and being betrayed by others, this type of person cannot trust others and is wary.
There are two types of people who are wary of being betrayed or used by others because of their lack of self-confidence.The first type can be analyzed as "low self-esteem" and the second as "high self-esteem but fragile.
Excessive negative emotions also emphasize the need for caution.
Furthermore, people who suffer from a mental disorder called paranoid personality disorder are also the type who cannot trust people due to their strong suspicion and unfounded paranoia.
Finally, regardless of the type of person, there are those who have been taught by their parents to be wary of people, or have learned to be wary of people from experience.
Advantages of trust and disadvantages of caution
The inability to trust people is not the fault of others, but rather a problem with oneself.It may be a matter of experience, but let's take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of being overly cautious or trusting.
Disadvantages of being overly cautious
The need to monitor the other person and check every detail of what the other person has done.These actions require a great deal of energy and can be mentally and physically draining.
Have a pessimistic view of interpersonal relationships.
This can cause you to feel depressed and lower your self-esteem.
As long as we are alive, there will be some kind of betrayal or being taken advantage of.
People who are overly cautious are extremely afraid of these and try to minimize those risks.
This leads to a cycle where the overly cautious person loses the enjoyment of trusting others, and their self-esteem goes down due to a less enjoyable life.
Benefits of Trust
One social benefit is that you will be able to find happiness in other people's relationships and have a higher self-esteem.
At the very least, trusting others will only benefit you in the long run, as you will be trusted by others.
If trusting others is reciprocated by trusting them, wouldn't you think that trust would be mutually greater?
Ways to trust others
1. Start by trusting them.
If you want to trust others, start with the idea that you can trust them optimistically.
If you are afraid of being betrayed, you can set yourself a ten-point scale, start out trusting with a ten, and if you are betrayed in some way, you can cut your rating in half.This does not mean that you have to trust them to the bottom! This is not to say that you should trust your partner to the core, but rather that you need to change your pessimistic view of interpersonal relationships to an optimistic one.
2. Decide what to do if you are betrayed
When you trust someone, there is always the risk of betrayal.
For this reason, you need to decide what to do when you are betrayed. For this reason, you should decide for yourself what you will do when you are betrayed.
(Example.
Knowing that the person who betrayed you will lose more reputation than the person who was betrayed.
Don't think that you will never trust someone again just because they betrayed you.
Don't think that just because you have been betrayed, you will never trust someone again.Don't get emotional and make biased judgments when you learn that you have been betrayed.
Ask a third party to get an accurate picture of the situation.
Ask the person who betrayed you why, but don't blame them outright.
This is just an example, but I think it shows what is desirable.
You may as well use it as is.
3. There is no medicine to increase trust
This is for people who want to be trusted by others.
There is a hormone called "oxytocin" that is secreted in the body.
Oxytocin is involved in childbirth and lactation, and there are experimental results that show that when it is administered to people, it increases their ability to trust others.It seems that there are oxytocin-containing sprays on the market, so do you really want to use them to control other people? That's what I mean.
To be accepted
People tend to blame others.
Psychologically, this behavior is due to the fact that we sometimes see our own faults in others.When this feeling becomes too much, we may accuse others of being selfish, even if they don't think so. This is the result of being overly "self-centered," which is a problem in self-evaluation.
This is the result of over-obsession with oneself, which is a problem in self-evaluation. Another problem is thinking that one's own way is the best way, and when others do things differently from one's own, one loses confidence in one's own way and blames others.
In any case, if you can't accept people, you can't trust them, and you will see others as only "disappointing" you.
No one is perfect.
Are others "disappointing" to you?
Or are they just easily disappointed? This is a good example of how both can be true.People are not that perfect, and there are aspects of us that expect too much from others.
How to Accept People
Now that you know why you can't accept people, how can you accept them? Here are some ways to do this.
Understand and empathize without criticizing.
If you want to accept people, don't criticize them, but understand them.
In order to understand, you need to empathize.
Subdivide the other person's judgment.
If you want to understand, you need to empathize with them. You need to break it down into smaller pieces.
Anyone can say, "That person is no good! It's easy for anyone to say, "He's no good!
Criticize the behavior without denying the personality.
When we criticize others, we tend to attack their personalities when we should be focusing on their actions.
1.Individualize, not generalize.
There is no such thing as a problem with anything, at any time, because there has been a problematic behavior.If you don't individualize what the problem is, it is like criticizing the other person themselves.
2. Talk to them instead of secretly antagonizing them.
Accepting someone is not about liking them, even if you don't like them.
The goal is to change your wrong assumptions about the person, correct your wrong attitude, and prevent the relationship from deteriorating.
However, people are not perfect, and criticism does not eliminate flaws.
3. Read a novel or watch a movie
In order to accept people, we need to understand and "empathize" with them.
To improve your ability to empathize, reading novels and watching movies are easy and effective ways to do so.Since fiction allows us to touch the hearts of others without threatening our real lives, we can apply the human qualities we learn from these stories to our real lives, thus creating opportunities to understand and empathize with others.
Forgiving others
To forgive others means to stop criticizing and punishing them.
It does not mean that you forget what they have done.
The goal is to be free from negative feelings toward the other person.
How to Forgive Others
Forgiving others is the ultimate form of accepting others.
Let's try to learn how to forgive others in a practical way.
Take the courageous step of non-violence.
Hypothetically, pacifism is not non-resistance to evil, but resistance in the form of non-violence.This is because it is a way of life desired by those who want to be honorable as human beings.
In real life, it means that when we see injustice, we stand up and insist that we do not accept it.
Take issue with the action and not blame the personality.
People who are aggressive towards others are like slaves, because they cannot be free from their past, their upbringing, and their prejudices.Therefore, when we criticize others, we need to take a form of non-violence, we need to make our behavior an issue.
If we are going to blame personalities, it is because that is synonymous with taking violent actions such as discrimination.
Think about peace after conflict.
Have you ever thought about the consequences of a confrontation with another person?Ideally, peace must come after a confrontation, which is why nonviolence is so helpful.
Nonviolentism is about "finding peace after the fight," not about giving up the fight.
Try to forgive your opponent, make peace with your opponent, and find points of agreement with your opponent.
Conclusion
What do you think of the psychological idea of trust, acceptance, and forgiveness?
It is easy for people to blame, but are they thinking about the consequences of their actions?Perhaps they criticize others themselves without thinking about it, and have no idea about the peace that follows.
Try to think that at the root of those things is also the projection of your own shortcomings onto others, and that's what people who deny the personality of others are doing.
