This time, I would like to talk about the psychology of shame.
At least once in your life, you have wondered what people around you would think about what you are doing. You have probably thought at least once that you would feel embarrassed if you did something like this.
Since the feeling of embarrassment is deeply related to "the eyes of others" and "self-evaluation," we need to review our self-evaluation in order to control our sense of shame.
The true nature of embarrassment
In psychology, the emotion of embarrassment is sometimes called the "emotion of self-consciousness.
Self-conscious emotions are generated by not only the situation in which you feel embarrassed, but also how you feel about that situation. For example, when you are on a crowded train, you may feel embarrassed.
For example, let's say you are on a crowded train, and when you arrive at your stop, you feel embarrassed to say, "I'm getting off.
That person feels embarrassed because he or she feels that by saying it out loud in such a situation, they are attracting attention.
If you don't feel embarrassed, you won't feel embarrassed, so in order to not feel embarrassed in this situation, you have to stop feeling embarrassed.
If we consider this "unseemly" part to be the equivalent of "self-consciousness," then what is the emotion of self-consciousness? Let me explain.
It is difficult to read from the outside.
Compared to emotions such as anger and sadness, facial expressions do not show any significant changes.
We may blush, but we do not have a specific expression.
No universal cause
Unlike fear, there is no universal cause for embarrassment, as it varies from culture to culture and from person to person.
As I mentioned in the previous example, it is a question of how we perceive the situation. There is no universal cause.
It has to do with the gaze of others.
This is because we sometimes feel embarrassed when we do the same thing, but without the gaze of others.
These are some of the characteristics.
Relationship between embarrassment and self-evaluation
Now you know that embarrassment is related to the eyes of others.
This is because the mere presence of other people's eyes can cause us to suddenly feel embarrassed about actions that are not so obvious, or if we are perceived as lacking in ability or knowledge.
As for the relationship with self-evaluation, self-evaluation is related to the evaluation of others as one of the factors.
When people see you fail, it means that other people's evaluations are lowered and your self-evaluation is hurt.
I would like to remind you that it is not the "feeling" of embarrassment that lowers your self-esteem, which we had before, but the "situation" of having done an embarrassing act that lowers your self-esteem.
In other words, if you do not feel embarrassed, your self-esteem will not be lowered by it.However, for people with low self-esteem as well, it is easy to feel embarrassed by even the slightest situation, which can lead to a vicious cycle.
Furthermore, this feeling of being "humiliated" or "losing face" can turn into an aggressive attitude of wanting revenge.
At the root of this problem, too, is a sense of situational embarrassment and low self-esteem.
Controlling Embarrassment
All emotions have a proper role to play, as they are the origin of some behavior.
Embarrassment, then, is a way of "keeping people from deviating from the norms of society.When it works normally, negative behaviors such as betrayal, stealing, and lying are controlled, but when it works excessively, it can have serious effects on the psyche.
Excessive fear can lead to mental disorders such as social anxiety disorder, but there is no name for it when it comes to embarrassment.
Here are some ways to control it.
1.Try not to feel embarrassed.
Since the cause of embarrassment is the way we perceive the situation, let's try to stop feeling embarrassed.
In order to do this, it is important to try something that may seem arrogant at first glance, such as not caring about what others think of you, or not caring what others think of you.
Before doing so, you need to understand that
Don't do anything that will lower your self-esteem, such as "avoidance" (not taking action).
People are not that interested in you.
The more you do, the less embarrassed you will be.
Start by saying "I'm getting off" when you get off the crowded train ahead.
2. Don't worry about it alone
Embarrassment is a feeling of being ashamed of your shortcomings and the fact that others know about them means that you are deviating from society.
Since embarrassment is based on how you feel about the situation, other people will have different views on the issue of embarrassment.
Instead of confiding in others and taking action to solve the problem, try confiding in others to gain a sense of relief that you are not alone.
Conclusion
What do you think about the psychology of shyness?
Embarrassment is a safeguard against deviating from society, and the way you feel is the way you perceive the situation.
I've worked in sales before, and after a few dives into the market, the situations where I felt embarrassed were pretty much gone.
I still feel embarrassed at times, but not as much as before.
I personally feel that methods 1 and 2 are effective, so if you are having trouble, give them a try.
