Is it excessively shallow? If your expectations are not properly calibrated, barriers to deeper conversations will arise.
Kardas, M., Kumar, A., and Epley, N. (2021) Are you overly shallow? (2021) Are you overly shallow?: Barriers to deeper conversations arise when expectations are not properly calibrated. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000281
Commentary
People desire deep and meaningful relationships with others, but may be hesitant to engage in deep and meaningful conversations with strangers that might generate those relationships.
The researchers hypothesized that people are compassionate and curious in their intimate revelations, systematically underestimate distant strangers, and that these false expectations create psychological barriers to deep conversations.
As predicted by the researchers, conversations between strangers were shown to be less uncomfortable than the participants themselves had expected, creating a sense of connection and well-being. (Experiments 1a-5)
In particular, we found that participants tended to overestimate how awkward deep conversations were compared to shallow conversations. （After having both types of conversations, they felt more connected to those with whom they had deep conversations than to those with whom they had shallow ones. (Experiments 6a-b)
Participants expected others to be less concerned about their disclosures in conversation than they actually were, leading to systematic differences between their expectations and experiences. (Experiments 1a, 1b, 4a, 4b, 5, and 6a)
The results showed that participants predicted the outcome of conversations more accurately when talking to close friends, family members, or partners whose care and concern were more clearly known to them. (Experiment 5)
False expectations about others are important because they guide our decisions about the topics we discuss in conversation. More adjusted expectations promote deeper conversations. (Experiments 7a-7b)
Misperceptions of others can promote overly shallow interactions.
