I want you to want me: a qualitative analysis of heterosexual men's desire to feel desire in intimate relationships

https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2021.1888830

Commentary

The sexual script of heterosexual relationships in Western countries is that men desire women in order to initiate sexual activity and promote the next level of physical intimacy. However, sexual scripts and gender roles are not only limited, but can change and evolve over time.

The purpose of this study was to investigate how important feelings of being desired are to heterosexual men in intimate relationships and how they feel desired by their partners.

The study involved 300 men between the ages of 18 and 65 who were recruited from the online platform Reddit and used thematic analysis to determine that feeling desired was very important to the participants' sexual experience.

The men who were subjected to the study listed several ways in which they desired to be desired.

Many were found to deviate from traditional gender roles, such as romantic, non-sexual touching and having women initiate sexual activity.

These findings suggest that traditional sexual scripts for heterosexual men may be restrictive and not accurate for all men's sexual experiences.