In this article, we will discuss the psychology of incompatible couples.
People have two types of couples in their marriages: those who are highly satisfied and those who are less satisfied.
Are both parties satisfied or just one of them? Or, do they break up because both parties are dissatisfied? There must be some cause for this.
What is the difference between a couple with high satisfaction and a couple with low satisfaction? I would like to introduce a study that investigated the differences in personality traits.
Contents of the study
Personality traits and marital relationships can be used to predict an individual's behavior in a variety of situations, including marital situations.
Marital satisfaction is influenced by a variety of factors and the quality of a couple's relationship can also be assessed through satisfaction.
The purpose of the study will be to review Iranian research on the correlation between personality traits and marital satisfaction.
A total of 18 studies with 4,049 participants were reviewed.
The following correlation coefficients were found between marital satisfaction and personality traits
Relationships between people with neurotic tendencies r = - 0.439
Relationships between people with highly extroverted personalities r = 0.833
Relationships between people with high openness r = 0.777
Relationship between people with high integrity r = 0.90
This suggests that couples with high neurotic tendencies are less satisfied with their marital life, while couples with high integrity personalities are more satisfied with their marital life.
Considerations
There are five aspects of personality, which are well known to those who are interested in psychology.
Neuroticism
Extraversion
Openness
Cooperativeness
Integrity
Neuroticism is the tendency to feel anxious, hostile, impulsive, depressed, and low self-esteem.Neurotic personality refers to the tendency to be prone to feelings of anxiety, hostility, impulsiveness, depression, and low self-esteem.
An extroverted personality is more likely to be positive, decisive, and sociable.
The openness personality is associated with traits such as curiosity, loving art, and wisdom.A cooperative personality is associated with traits such as kindness, generosity, empathy, and altruism.
Integrity traits tend to be trustworthy, self-disciplined, and goal-oriented.
These personality traits vary from person to person in terms of their highs and lows, and if a trait is extremely high, it can be considered a prominent trait.
Looking at the above traits, it would seem that a combination with too much neurotic tendencies would certainly be less satisfying.
Things related to anxiety, hostility, impulsiveness, depressive tendencies, and self-esteem are also related to low self-esteem, so if you are in a couple with high neurotic tendencies and you cannot leave easily, you will need to take measures.
There are different ways to deal with this, but the main one is to change your behavior.
The couple recognizes and discusses the problematic behaviors with each other, making concessions to each other as to what is lacking and what can be done to improve the situation.It will take time for them to fully resolve their issues, so those who want a quick fix will have to find another solution.
There is a Big Five test that you can find on the Internet, and if you are curious about it, you can try it for fun.
If the results show that you both have high neurotic tendencies and low satisfaction in the relationship, you should recognize that this is the cause of the situation and take action.
Never deny each other's personality, just recognize that there is a problem with behavior.
Sayehmiri K, Kareem KI, Abdi K, Dalvand S, Gheshlagh RG. The relationship between personality traits and marital satisfaction: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Psychol. 2020;8(1):15. published 2020 Feb 7. doi:10.1186/s40359-020-0383-z
Conclusion
The results show that the least satisfying combinations are couples with high neurotic tendencies.If you are interested in someone or already have a couple, and you are not satisfied with the relationship, the cause may be a personality trait.
It is impossible to change the personality itself immediately, so starting with changing the problematic behaviors may be a clue to changing relationship satisfaction.
